The power of emotional intelligence in ECEC: Impacts, challenges and everyday practice

In ECEC, emotional intelligence (EI or EQ) is more than a “soft skill.” It shapes how educators relate to children, families and colleagues, how they manage stress and change, and how children learn to understand their own and others’ emotions. Cultivating EI can transform the tone, relationships and learning environment of a centre.

 

Emotional intelligence refers to the capacity to perceive, understand, use and regulate one’s own emotions, as well as to perceive and respond to the emotions of others. Many models break EI into components such as self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills (or relationship management) 

 

In ECEC settings, EI underpins:

 

• Responsive relationships: Educators with strong EI more readily perceive children’s emotional cues (distress, frustration, joy) and respond sensitively.
• Regulation under stress: Early childhood settings are emotionally demanding. EI helps educators manage frustration, conflict, fatigue and ambiguity.
• Leadership and culture: Leaders with EI model emotionally intelligent behaviour, cultivating a climate of psychological safety, trust, open communication and collaborative problem‑solving.
• Facilitating children’s socio‑emotional learning: By role‑modelling emotional language, regulation and empathy, educators scaffold children’s capacity to identify, name and manage feelings.

 

Put simply: EI is a foundational competence supporting relational, regulatory and pedagogical dimensions of quality.

 

Impacts & Benefits

 

For children

• Children with greater emotional intelligence tend to have stronger peer relationships, greater empathy, better self‑regulation and more positive classroom engagement.
• They are more able to attend, persist in tasks and recover from setbacks, supporting learning and school readiness.
• Emotional competence predicts social success, fewer behavioural issues and improved wellbeing over time.

 

For educators and teams

• Educators with higher EI report less job stress, greater relational ease with colleagues and families, and better resilience in the face of demands. 
• At the leadership level, EI supports more effective conflict resolution, more considered decision-making, and stronger trust and collaboration.
• Services and organisations that prioritise emotional culture are more likely to retain staff, sustain morale through change, and embed practices over time.

 

Challenges & Risks

 

• Emotional labour and burnout
  The emotional demands of caregiving, conflict, regulatory pressures, parent expectations and high workloads can place significant strain on educators. Without strong emotional intelligence or support systems in place, this can lead to burnout or emotional exhaustion, as reported by The Sector.
• Lack of training or value placed on EI
  Many professional development systems prioritise technical/curriculum skills over relational and emotional competencies, meaning EI often remains undervalued or tacit.
• Resistance or defensiveness
  Conversations about emotions can be uncomfortable. Staff may resist reflection, be reluctant to show vulnerability, or view emotional discussions as “soft” and outside their remit.
• Inconsistent modeling
  If leadership or more experienced educators fail to model emotionally intelligent behaviour, efforts to build EI across the staff body will struggle.
• Cultural and individual differences
  Expressions of emotion (e.g. how much emotional display is acceptable) vary across cultures and individuals. Educators must navigate these respectfully to avoid misunderstanding or offence.
• Sustainability over time
  Without ongoing reflection, reinforcement and leadership support, initial gains in EI practices may erode in the face of pressure.

 

Nonetheless, there are many stories of ECEC centres embedding emotional intelligence as a central pillar of their culture, with reported improvements in staff retention, climate, relationships and child wellbeing.

 

EI is not a fixed trait; it can be nurtured intentionally. Here are some strategies:

 

Self‑awareness

 

• Reflective journaling or debriefing: After challenging interactions, pause and reflect: What did I feel? Why? What triggered me? How did I react (verbally, nonverbally)?
• Mindfulness practices: Brief daily exercises (body scan, breathing, observing thoughts without judgment) enhance awareness of internal states.
• Seek feedback: Invite trusted colleagues to reflect with you on moments you may have been emotionally reactive or unaware.

 

Emotional regulation

 

• Pause, breathe, reframe: When you feel strong emotions, slow down, take a breath and choose your response.
• Use “emotion scripts”: Prepare language (e.g. “I’m feeling frustrated right now; I need a moment to collect my thoughts”).
• Self‑compassion: Acknowledge that educators are human. When mistakes or emotional responses occur, resist harsh self-judgment.

 

Empathy & social awareness

 

• Active listening: In staff or child conversations, listen to tone, body language and what is unspoken.
• Perspective-taking: Practice imagining what’s behind someone’s emotional expression: “What might this person be experiencing right now?”
• Emotional vocabulary expansion: Deliberately increase your emotional language (e.g. “irritated, disappointed, hopeful”) to better differentiate subtle states.

 

Social / relationship skills

 

• Feedback and conflict training: Use structured protocols (I-statements, non‑violent communication) in staff interactions.
• Emotion coaching conversations: In team debriefs, normalize talking about emotional experience and invite joint meaning-making.
• Peer coaching / supervision: Partner with a colleague to observe and reflect on emotional interactions in the classroom or team settings.

 

Practice, reinforcement and scaffolding

 

• Embedded reflection cycles: Build regular opportunities (e.g. after lunch, in weekly team meetings) to reflect on emotional dynamics.
• Professional learning communities (PLCs): Use PLC time to explore case studies, role-play emotional responses, share strategies.
• Mentoring and modelling: Leadership can model emotionally intelligent behaviour openly, narrating decisions and emotional regulation.

 

Over time, these practices become habitual and more fluent.

 

EI shapes the emotional tone of the environment. It influences whether children feel safe, understood and supported in their emotional growth. Over time, children internalise emotionally intelligent models, naming feelings, offering empathy, regulating impulses, and navigating conflict.

 

Emotional intelligence lies at the heart of relational quality in ECEC. It influences educator resiliency, teamwork, leadership, and the emotional climate in which children develop. When educators develop EI intentionally, the benefits cascade to children bolstering their emotional literacy, self-regulation and relationships.

 

Yet building EI is not without challenges. It requires vulnerability, reflection, safe culture, ongoing support and modelling. Its success is often quietly cumulative rather than dramatic.

 

Things to consider:

• In your service or environments, what emotional patterns or breakdowns tend to occur?
• Where could greater self-awareness or regulation make a difference?
• Which colleagues might you partner with to name, reflect and grow your emotional intelligence together?