Embracing Emotional Resilience in Early Childhood Education: Beyond “R U OK?”

“R U OK Day” is an important moment to remind ourselves to check in on the well-being of  those around us. In the context of early childhood education, it’s not just about asking  children if they’re okay—it’s about laying the groundwork for emotional resilience that will  serve them throughout their lives. 

In early childhood education, adjusting our language to help children express their emotions  can significantly impact them. Instead of framing feelings as “good” or “bad,” educators can  introduce terms like “rough” and “smooth” to describe how a child’s day or experience is  going. 

This simple shift in language removes the judgment often attached to emotions,  making it easier for children to express themselves without feeling guilty. By teaching them to articulate their feelings this way, we help them to understand that all emotions are valid and  provide them with the tools to navigate those feelings confidently. 

Young children express their emotions through behaviours such as crying, tantrums or  withdrawing. During these expressions early childhood educators play a crucial role in developing emotional literacy in children. By recognising  these behaviours as emotional signals, educators can teach children how to understand and  manage their emotions in a healthy way. 

How do we cultivate emotional resilience? 

Emotional resilience is the ability to cope with life’s challenges and bounce back from  setbacks. In early childhood, this skill is not inherent but learned. By helping children to  navigate their emotions, educators can instil confidence and self-awareness to help them  throughout their lives. 

One way that educators and other early childhood professionals can do this is through creating a learning environment where children feel safe expressing themselves, even if they don’t have the words. 

When a child is upset, educators can help them identify what they may be feeling, and how and what led them there, instead of simply trying to stop or shut down the expression of emotion or behaviour. 

For example, an educator might say “You seem angry Sam. Your face is red, and your hands are tight! Are you angry because Eric took your truck? Let’s see if we can find a way to solve this, and help your anger to ease.”

When identifying emotions on behalf of a child, it’s important to remember that only the child themselves knows how they are truly feeling – anger can be a ‘mask’ that hides many emotions such as fear, shame, frustration or sadness. 

In the example above, naming the potential emotion, plus some of its signs (red face, tight hands) helps Sam to recognise the difference between ‘anger’ which is ‘red, hot, and tight’ and other aligned emotions like shame, which might feel different in his body. 

Offering Sam a way to ‘help his anger to ease’ reminds him that feelings are like the waves of an ocean, ebbing and receding, and that no matter how present the anger feels in his body in the moment, it will soon pass. 

By consistently acknowledging and validating a child’s emotions, educators can help them  begin to understand what they are feeling and how to regain and maintain control of the spectrum of their emotions. This process is the foundation of emotional resilience. 

The importance of being proactive

Creating an emotionally supportive learning environment is about more than just responding to children’s needs as they arise. It’s also about proactively teaching them the skills to navigate their emotions. This can be done through simple language changes and activities woven into the  daily routine. 

For example, educators can introduce books focusing on  different emotions, helping children recognise and label their feelings. Group discussions can help children see that everyone experiences a range of  emotions, and that’s okay. Describing emotions as ‘rough’ and ‘smooth’ makes them objective and non-judgemental. 

Educators can model emotional resilience themselves. When faced with  challenges in the classroom, such as a conflict between children, educators can demonstrate calmness and problem-solving, showing children how to handle difficult  situations with patience and understanding. 

Emotional resilience cannot be taught in the classroom alone; it requires reinforcement at  home. Educators can support parents and caregivers by sharing strategies and resources  they can use at home to help build their child’s emotional resilience. 

Workshops or take-home materials that explain the importance of acknowledging a child’s  emotions and provide simple techniques for managing those emotions can be incredibly  valuable. For example, teaching parents to use phrases like, “I can see you’re on a rough  road. Let’s take a few deep breaths together” can make a big difference in how children  learn to cope with their emotions. 

Start a conversation 

“R U OK Day” is an opportunity to start a broader conversation about emotional well-being,  but it’s just the beginning in early childhood education. By focusing on emotional resilience,  educators can help children develop the tools to understand and manage their emotions,  setting the stage for a healthier, more resilient life. 

The goal isn’t to have children avoid difficult emotions altogether, but rather to equip them with the skills to handle them constructively, driving rough and smooth roads. 

This early investment in emotional education helps create a generation of individuals better prepared to face life’s inevitable challenges with confidence and resilience. Knowing that experiencing rough roads doesn’t equate to failure, but rather an opportunity to enhance ‘driving’ skills and cultivate resilience. 

On this “R U OK Day,” let’s look beyond the question of being ‘ok’ and focus on the long-term development of emotional resilience in our youngest learners. 

By doing so, we empower them to navigate the ups and downs of life with strength, understanding, and the confidence that it’s okay not to be okay every day—and that they have the tools to navigate all roads. 

Dr Jane Foster is a leading educator, researcher, presenter and author of “It’s In Your Hands; Your Steering Wheel, Your Choice”. Combining her educational skills with neuroscience and positive psychology, Jane equips people with strategies to help build emotional resilience and manage their daily stresses, successfully changing perspectives  and creating new neural pathways. For more information, visit www.emotionalresiliencetraining.com.au