“Why can’t they just stay?”: Leading through winter illness when families push back

As winter sets in, early childhood leaders are managing not just coughs and colds, but rising tensions with families around exclusion policies. When illness is widespread, consistency becomes essential, and so does confidence in how to handle hard conversations.

 

Each winter, colds, flus, RSV and COVID-19 become a familiar part of life in early learning settings. For children, it often means time at home. For educators, it can mean time off sick. And for centre leaders, winter is often the toughest term of the year.

 

But the real pressure does not just come from germs. It comes from pushback.

 

“She’s only got a runny nose.” “He was fine when we left the house.” “I cannot keep taking time off work.” Sound familiar?

 

Why consistency matters

 

Clear and consistent health practices are essential to maintaining trust and safety across your service. The Staying Healthy: Preventing infectious diseases in early childhood education and care services guidelines make it clear that exclusion of sick children and staff is not optional. It is a health and safety requirement.

 

“Excluding ill children and educators is one of the most important ways to limit the spread of infection in education and care services.” (Staying Healthy, NHMRC)

 

Consistency also protects your team and your culture. When one family is let through the gate with a coughing child, others notice. Educators feel frustrated. Illness spreads. And your authority as a leader weakens.

 

Tip: Keep a printed copy of the NHMRC exclusion table at reception and in each room to support consistent decision-making and communication.

 

As one centre director recently said, “Every time we make an exception, we see it ripple through the service in more illness, more confusion and more stress. Families want flexibility, but what they really need is predictability.”

 

Understanding where families are coming from

 

No parent wants to be told their child cannot stay. But most pushback is not personal. Often, it reflects work pressures, family demands or simply not knowing what the rules are.

 

As a leader, the key is to stay calm, stay kind and stay firm. You are not being difficult. You are protecting everyone’s wellbeing and following expert health advice.

 

You can let families know:

 

• You understand it is hard, and you are here to help where possible
• You are applying national guidance, not making personal judgements
• You are doing what is required under Quality Area 2, and the same rules apply to everyone

 

Approaching difficult conversations

 

When a child needs to be sent home, what you say and how you say it can make all the difference.

 

Try:

 

• “I know this puts pressure on your day, and I really do understand. But we need to follow the Staying Healthy guidelines.”
• “There has been a lot of illness through the service lately, and this is how we keep everyone as well as we can.”
• “The exclusion period for vomiting is 48 hours after the last episode. It is all listed here, and we stick to that for every child.”
• “Thank you for working with us. It really helps the team.”

 

Avoid vague language like “We are just being careful.” It can open the door for negotiation. Instead, frame it as part of your duty of care and national best practice.

 

One message, one standard: supporting internal consistency

 

Families will often reference previous conversations when pushing back. “The other educator said it was okay” or “Last time someone let us stay.” This usually reflects mixed messaging or staff uncertainty, not dishonesty.

 

That is why internal consistency is just as important as external clarity.

 

Leaders can support their teams by:

 

• Discussing common illness scenarios during staff meetings
• Providing easy access to Staying Healthy resources in every room
• Encouraging educators to escalate unclear situations to the leadership team
• Reinforcing that all staff are expected to follow the same process

 

Saying to your team, “You do not have to have all the answers. You just need to know where to look, and know that we will back you up,” builds confidence and cohesion.

 

When every staff member gives the same response, families start to trust the boundaries and stop looking for workarounds.

 

And when they do not? Mistrust grows. Policies start to feel optional. Health risks increase for everyone.

 

Leading with clarity, calm and care

 

Illness season is not just about managing viruses. It is about leading through uncertainty.

 

Consistency, clarity and compassion are your most powerful tools. Use national guidance. Stay anchored in Quality Area 2. Support your team. Lead with clarity, calm and care.

 

And remember, when you hold the line with care, you are not just protecting health. You are showing the kind of leadership that holds services together when it matters most.