Supporting families through separation anxiety: Guidance for educators

As the new year begins and families settle into routines, many early childhood services are welcoming new children, and with them, new emotions. Separation anxiety is a normal developmental experience, especially for infants, toddlers and preschoolers adjusting to a new environment. For some children, parting from their parent or carer can trigger tears, clinginess, or distress. For families, it can lead to guilt, worry and feelings of helplessness.

Educators play a crucial role in supporting both children and families through this transition. With sensitive practice, strong relationships, and consistent routines, separation anxiety can be eased, building the foundation for secure attachments and confident learners.

Separation anxiety typically emerges between 6 months and 3 years of age, although it can surface at other times, particularly during transitions such as starting care, changing rooms, or returning after holidays. It reflects a child’s developing understanding of object permanence and attachment to trusted caregivers.

Signs may include:

• Crying or clinging at drop-off
• Reluctance to engage in play
• Following educators or peers closely
• Difficulty settling during rest periods

These behaviours are developmentally appropriate and usually ease with time, routine and trust.

Strategies educators can use

1. Build trusting relationships early
   • Greet children warmly each day using their name
   • Getting down to the child’s level
   • Use predictable rituals (e.g., songs, visual schedules)
   • Offer a consistent primary educator during transitions
2. Support a calm and confident goodbye
   • Encourage families to keep farewells short but reassuring
   • Avoid sneaking out, this can increase anxiety over time
   • Offer a handover ritual (e.g., special wave, goodbye window, book together)
3. Offer emotional validation and comfort
   • Acknowledge children’s feelings: “You’re really missing Dad right now.”
   • Stay physically close and offer calm, nurturing presence
   • Use simple language to reassure and redirect: “Mum will be back after lunch.”
4. Communicate openly with families
   • Share updates during the day (photos, quick messages, verbal feedback)
   • Let families know how long it typically takes children to settle
   • Normalise the experience while offering reassurance
5. Create predictable routines and transitions
   • Children feel more secure when the day is structured
   • Use visual cues, transition songs or props to signal what’s next
6. Encourage comfort items
   • Familiar objects (e.g., soft toys, family photos) can support emotional regulation
7. Reflect with your team
   • Discuss strategies that are working, adapt for individual children
   • Collaborate on ways to support challenging transitions

Resources to Share with Families

• Raising Children Network: Separation Anxiety in Babies and Children
• Be You: Transitions in Learning Communities
• StartingBlocks: How you can help your child settle In

These strategies are aligned with:

• EYLF V2.0 – Outcome 1: Children have a strong sense of identity
• NQS – Quality Area 5: Relationships with children
• Quality Area 6: Collaborative partnerships with families and communities

By creating a calm, responsive and supportive environment, educators can ease the emotional burden of separation for both children and families, laying the groundwork for long-term confidence, resilience and belonging.