Supporting families through separation anxiety: Guidance for educators

As the new year begins and families settle into routines, many early childhood services are welcoming new children, and with them, new emotions. Separation anxiety is a normal developmental experience, especially for infants, toddlers and preschoolers adjusting to a new environment. For some children, parting from their parent or carer can trigger tears, clinginess, or distress. For families, it can lead to guilt, worry and feelings of helplessness.

• Crying or clinging at drop-off
• Reluctance to engage in play
• Following educators or peers closely
• Difficulty settling during rest periods

1. Build trusting relationships early
   • Greet children warmly each day using their name
   • Getting down to the child’s level
   • Use predictable rituals (e.g., songs, visual schedules)
   • Offer a consistent primary educator during transitions
2. Support a calm and confident goodbye
   • Encourage families to keep farewells short but reassuring
   • Avoid sneaking out, this can increase anxiety over time
   • Offer a handover ritual (e.g., special wave, goodbye window, book together)
3. Offer emotional validation and comfort
   • Acknowledge children’s feelings: “You’re really missing Dad right now.”
   • Stay physically close and offer calm, nurturing presence
   • Use simple language to reassure and redirect: “Mum will be back after lunch.”
4. Communicate openly with families
   • Share updates during the day (photos, quick messages, verbal feedback)
   • Let families know how long it typically takes children to settle
   • Normalise the experience while offering reassurance
5. Create predictable routines and transitions
   • Children feel more secure when the day is structured
   • Use visual cues, transition songs or props to signal what’s next
6. Encourage comfort items
   • Familiar objects (e.g., soft toys, family photos) can support emotional regulation
7. Reflect with your team
   • Discuss strategies that are working, adapt for individual children
   • Collaborate on ways to support challenging transitions

• Raising Children Network: Separation Anxiety in Babies and Children
• Be You: Transitions in Learning Communities
• StartingBlocks: How you can help your child settle In

• EYLF V2.0 – Outcome 1: Children have a strong sense of identity
• NQS – Quality Area 5: Relationships with children
• Quality Area 6: Collaborative partnerships with families and communities